I’ve had almost a month to consider some things in my life. He keeps whispering to me verses from the book Isaiah, “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things”, Isaiah 45:7. The other night, while praying, I kept hearing, “trust, you are strong, trust, you and strong.” What happens? I go grab my mail out of the box the next day and I had a post card that had stuck itself to a piece of my mail (it wasn’t even addressed to me!) and the front of the card said, “Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength,” Isaiah 40:31.
There is a Reason for Negative People
Isaiah isn’t a book I’ve ever studied or read. I keep telling myself I want to study two particular books of the Bible including Colossians. . Actually, when Noah was born, Lauren brought me a little baggie of sentiments and thoughts, cards and prayers… with a work-through Bible study of those two books. But God keeps saying, “no. no. Kaitlyn, follow me. Let me and I will guide you. That can wait right now.”
This past couple months, lots has happened! First of all, we moved! We had so much help with this, and we wouldn’t have been in the house still-yet if it weren’t for everyone chipping in so whole-heartedly as they did! My parents, both sets of in-laws, great grandparents and friends babysitting…. thank you EVERYONE equally! Kara has started school for part of the day. My sister in law is having a baby.
But, other… less desirable things have happened also.
One morning, I woke up to a series of text messages from a stranger. Someone whom I thought I knew, but who was actually a total stranger! I would have never guessed in a million years I’d wake up one morning to these circumstances. I woke up to a text that stated: “Call me ASAP. You are the worst wife I know.” He was gone…. Josh was gone, at work I presumed.
I called him…. only he answered, “Hey, baby.”
Hmm…. He didn’t send that. Who else would try to talk to me about being a wife? Who else knew me from a husband/wife perspective? No one. So, I went back to the text message, and re-read it. I read the entirety of the texts at this point. I was kinda speechless, but…. I was also…. umm…. peaceful. Innocent. So, I texted Josh and said, “today, I think we should pray.” He messaged me back he loved me. If God and Josh think I’m a good mother and wife, no one else’s opinion matters – other than my kids! The rest of the week I spoke sensibly, respectfully, and honestly to this person I perceive as a total stranger. It did no good. To this stranger, the world is my fault.
Sure, I could identify this person in a lineup. Sure I could! I’ve known this person for awhile now! But, nothing that this person voices that they stand for resonates with me. Nothing they say makes sense to me. Nothing against this person, I just personally do not understand. God didn’t put me here to understand this person. I do not know them, and they certainly do NOT know me! This week of conversation was filled with bearing false witness toward me. Belittling, patronizing, and degrading everything they possibly could about me. But why? Who is this person to feel that convicted and that passionate about hate? Its no one I know No one I enjoy spending time with!
Ugh, so yeah…. I fall into the trap. Have you ever said something to someone and then it shows up on your facebook/pinterest/instagram feed? I have. Sometimes my dang THOUGHTS (about lemon detoxes 😉 ) show up! ***CONSPIRACY!***
So, with all of these accusations going on with that initital text, I listened to a voicemail from this stranger. I didn’t know what to pray. So I googled, “prayers for forgiveness.” This was NOT what I was expecting to see! I was lead me to: “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord”, Job 1:21.
Now, what’s ironic about this…. is that this stranger, who google couldn’t possibly know, has used this verse against me many previous times… sometimes, I feel like, in the sense of a threat? But who knows… maybe not. In reference to Noah, I’ve heard many times that He gave me this child and He can take him away. I need to pray, turn my life to God. So when I ran across Job…. my prayer changed. I prayed for JESUS to do what He does! He lead to me draw a journal entry for this stranger! God lead me to this verse for a reason! How can that particular verse ever be used in hate? Now, I’m no biblical scholar, so maybe I”m missing the big picture. Maybe I’m out of context, maybe I’m wrong. But…. in that moment, God was assuring me that He CAN take away! He CAN follow through on this stranger’s threats… but that is nothing to fear! This stranger cannot pressure me into fear, or harm me in any way! This stranger cannot make the choice of the Lord, and when the Lord does take away…. whatever it is, whoever it affects, will be Blessed!
So anyway…. what am I getting at? Something hit me like a ton of bricks this month. Here recently. And, I’m at peace!
This stranger, this person, is here by God. For whatever reason, why ever she is in my life….. He sent her to me. The Devil doesn’t have the power to send her. Only God does because he reigns over everything. Some people are just going to be negative. Some people are going to be angry, rude, and hateful. This doesn’t mean I have to be. If I gave every single person in a line money, but ran $3 short and I gave a person like this $3 less than the others, it will be WWIII. Some people are just like that.
You know what though? God has a reason for ALL of us. Maybe, when I prayed for patience back before I conceived my first child, he is just now answering (man, wouldn’t that be my luck — he’s teaching me patience with this stranger! -__- ). Maybe, when I prayed that I would one day have a husband I trusted… He is now providing me with opportunities to trust Him and him above all else. Maybe, when I said I’d honor him till death, maybe this is how I can honor my husband. But if God sent me this stranger, someone I will never understand or really get to know, there has to be good coming from it somehow. He has His riches planned for me! He has to remove this stranger at some point or else she’s here for my good! He has to bless this stranger or whatever His reason is!
So, as I’m moving forward in the upcoming months….. feel free to chirp in and remind me not to loose these prayers, these verses, these thoughts, these words! Negative people are here for a reason…. even if we don’t know what it is right now. It doesn’t matter what false accusations are made, it doesnt’ matter at all! It doesn’t matter if I am welcomed with open arms, or if stones are tossed. It doesn’t matter if the stranger accepts me, HE accepts me! I’m not here to please people, I’m here to please Him! Glory be to God!